I think I just had a near death experience (now with video)

"Dusty Ventures" (dustyventures)
10/15/2017 at 00:40 • Filed to: None

Back in August I flew through BWI and saw this at a place called the Pepper Palace. I saw it had Carolina reaper as an ingredient (the hottest pepper in the world) and was intrigued. Did a little research and discovered it’s 6 million scoville, the hottest hot sauce in the world that isn’t just pure extract. It’s 1,200 times hotter than a jalapeno, 40 times hotter than a habanero, 4 times hotter than a reaper. I love hot sauce (I go through multiple bottles a month) so I couldn’t resist, when I flew through BWI again on Monday I grabbed a bottle.

I didn’t open it until today because I wanted to wait for the weekend when I would have adequate “recovery time.” Just in case. There’s a “The End” challenge, which is to take a drop straight. I’m dumb, so I went for it.

The first thing I noticed was the flavor. The sauce has flavor and it’s good! It tastes like chipotle peppers, and the flavor is strong. This is a trap. While you’re focusing on the flavor the sauce is turning the dial on your mouth to broil and dumping thermite on your tongue. Next thing I knew I was doing my best “Terry Crews Old Spice” impression. Fire. Everything on fire. This was just the sauce’s opening act.

As the heat finally began to dissipate in my mouth I noticed there was a strange warm feeling slowly crawling down my throat. I’ve had a lot of hot sauces, but I’ve never felt this before. It wasn’t unbearable, but it was uncomfortable, and persistent, slowly descending through my chest over the course of minutes . Then it dropped into my stomach.

The pain was immense, I started eyeing the trash can, wondering if I was about to be hanging off of it. It was like I had a stomach full of mentos, cola, pop rocks, a baking soda volcano, and napalm. At the same time my nose suddenly turned into a faucet. Without warning and in a matter of seconds mucus was pouring out of my nose and dripping on the floor. I grabbed some paper towels to blow my nose and when I blew the sauce went into my nose. I could feel my nose hairs combusting one by one. My eyes started watering. All the while my stomach continued to try to turn itself inside out.

Finally, after fifteen minutes or so the pain in my stomach subsided. The relief was immense. The feeling didn’t go away completely, but I was no longer eyeing the third floor window as a viable option to make it stop. Now, over an hour later I feel mostly fine, though I’m still burping occasionally and I can still feel it brewing in my gut. I suspect my next visit to the bathroom will be soon and very eventful.

If you like stupid hot sauces this is definitely the best, both in flavor and intensity. Despite the pain I intend to finish the bottle (slowly and with food). If you’re considering it, definitely give it a go. Just make sure you’ve got a day (or two) with no other plans and you’re stocked up on toilet paper.

EDIT: I’m not alone in the suffering

DISCUSSION (19)

Jonee > Dusty Ventures
10/15/2017 at 01:02

I was in Madagascar years ago and they have a pepper whose name translates to, “ten men can’t eat one.” They make a chutney with it which I tried and it literally gave me a fever. I had to go sit in the ocean to bring my body temperature down.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Dusty Ventures
10/15/2017 at 01:04

Trader Joe’s Habañero sauce is good and not mild.

Steve in Manhattan > Dusty Ventures
10/15/2017 at 01:08

Used to self-harm like this - best method is to put a drop on some white rice, which permits the flavor to come thru but absorbs nasty stuff quickly.

Dusty Ventures > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
10/15/2017 at 01:08

The End is about 600 times hotter

S65 > Dusty Ventures
10/15/2017 at 01:09

nope.jpeg

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Dusty Ventures
10/15/2017 at 01:09

Sounds close to a sauce I make where I work, it has unspecified amount of pure capcaisin oil (NDA on recipes) in it. It’s not on the menu, but if you order it you have to sign a waiver. It’s stored in the office safe, only the manager & owner can get it out. To hold the bottle you have to wear rubber gloves. 500ml of it lasts 3 years.

TylerJ > Dusty Ventures
10/15/2017 at 01:10

An acquaintance of mine has some Carolina Reaper seasoning. Well, they poured some in my hand and told me to try it without telling me what it was. I thought it was something like Tony Chachere’s. Well, it wasn’t and I don’t handle spicy food very well. That stuff burned my mouth so much I grabbed the closest liquid to me without caring to read the bottle and chugged it. That bottle was vodka. Couldn’t taste the alcohol in it because the seasoning had already burned my taste buds off.

Dusty Ventures > Steve in Manhattan
10/15/2017 at 01:12

Yeah, I’m going to be using it mostly in rice and soups. But new sauces need to be tried straight first.

Steve in Manhattan > Dusty Ventures
10/15/2017 at 01:24

I remember using Dave’s Insanity Sauce to flavor a pot of chili. Four drops was enough.

Dusty Ventures > Steve in Manhattan
10/15/2017 at 01:26

This is 24 times hotter than Dave’s